The magical word that everybody wants to have in their life. Balance. It is one of my own core values at this point in my life. The constant juggling act of kids, family, work, a social life, household chores and then me, myself and I.
Oh that exhausts me just thinking about it. The reality is that the balancing act is real, pertinent and in your face. There is no such thing as perfect balance and if there is, it is only intermittently until life throws us another curve ball.
Balance should generally feel like one is calm, grounded and in control.
Try and see balance as a see saw. You know the one’s we played on as kids before the wifi took over? The see saw ideally should be equal. Again remember that really cool feeling when the other person was pretty much the same weight as you and you could both balance in the air until someone decided the fun was over and jumped on their seat to make the other person come down and then throw you all the way up while their were touching the ground and then then you would plead with them to get off deliberately very slowly so you wouldn't fall on the ground with a wooden thud to your butt.
Life is like this. When there is an imbalance one must not stay up in the sky for too long or with their feet on the ground for too long either. Being completely in balance is ideal but for most of us not realistic. What is realistic is moments where we find ourselves at all heights on the sea saw of life.
Balance feels differently for everybody. For me balance is a feeling of being in control over my decisions and as an introvert I need to spend time by myself to process and download info from the life I have chosen of being on camera on Soul Tv, running workshops at Soul Friday, instructing at Intuitive Wing Chun and mediating in my day job in the corporate world, not mentioning trying to be a role model for my 2 girls.
There are some ways you can get balance in your life. I feel it is a mindset and also a proactive approach to how you take life by the reigns and deal with whatever it is you need to deal with.
First of all ask yourself what does balance feel like for you?
How will you know you have achieved balance?
What does it look like?
What does it feel like?
What does it sound like?
Is it an internal balance or an external balance?
Can you control your immediate environment or is it more about inner calmness in the mind?
Acknowledge your situation for what it is. If you have goals for your future and right now you feel that you are nowhere near the place you want to be ask yourself if the things that are causing you to feel unbalanced are eventually going to give you that sense of balance?
For example, the job you have now is it giving you an income that will pay for a house cleaner, is spending long hours at work going to give you the promotion you have been waiting so you can get the experience so you can apply for another job that requires less hours? Spending all your extra time with the kids, will this teach them life skills so they can become independent and think for themselves so when they get older they can do things for themselves and you can spend time in other areas?
Be honest with yourself. If you are investing energy in things that are taking your further away from your goal it’s time to reassess. Set goals and make a list of daily, weekly and monthly goals that you need to accomplish to get you closer to where you want to be.
This is a good time to see if there are signs of self sabotage. I have written a blog about this before and you can also see it on one of our Soul Tv episodes. If you are self sabotaging you can be pretty sure that sense of balance will be further away than you hope.
Be honest with yourself and write down the thought and/or feeling that comes up when you ask yourself if you love yourself, if you have respect for yourself, if you believe you a worthy of nothing but the best in the life. If you hesitate that’s a cue that you may need to delve deeper into these areas.
Get inspired and empowered to work towards changes you need in your life to give you the balance that you are seeking. One of the biggest questions to ask yourself is Why?
Why do you want balance?
What will balance give you?
How will it affect you and and the people around you?
How will balance give you what you need?
Stay connected with inspiring people around you. The people that won’t not pursued you to make wrong decisions that can sabotage your goals. Educate yourself and read articles that can give you tips and practical advice on how to stay on track.
Plan your journey. If you don’t have the perfect job what steps are you taking to get one more suitable or if you need more time where in your life can you spend less in to do more meaningful activities?
Be mindful of your decisions. When you are seeking balance you will need to be strict and vigilant of the decision you make that hinder your progression. It’s ok to sometimes stuff up as long as it doesn't become a habit and then turns into self-sabotage.
Look after yourself physically. If you are ingesting the wrong foods and drinks and not doing some form of physical activity your are not doing yourself any favours. You will feel sluggish, may even have a negative outlook on your body and these are all feelings of a lack of self love which can be a root to self beliefs and self worth.
You see I mention these words quite a lot and there’s a reason why. If you don’t believe you are worthy of self love you will find it difficult to action plans to live a better life.
Step by step and little by little. Get traction and momentum to propel you in the right direction. Each little accomplishment should be rewarded appropriately and consistently.
If you enjoyed my blog let me know.
Antonella Jakobsen - Intuitive Wing Chun