There is a great saying that says ‘you either do one thing really well or ten things averagely’. This is so true and I am definitely someone who is continuously needing to simplify and come back to what is really important. Our basics are having are really just about having our needs met and sometimes that doesn’t even happen when we are doing many things at once. I am always faced with many opportunities and I really want to say ‘yes’ to everything, fortunately I have learned to say no which is often just ‘not yet’. I’ve had to learn that not everything needs to be done or achieved right now. When we try to do too many things at once that is when our energy becomes scattered and we often won’t achieve anything at all and can go into overwhelm. This is when we need to come back to basics and look at what is really important right now. We lose sight of what’s important when we get distracted by something shiny and new or perhaps by people requiring our attention or offering us opportunities that we feel like we can’t refuse just in case they don’t come around again.
You will know when it’s time to strip back when you feel like you are not moving forward even though you are super busy or are feeling stressed and overwhelmed. You may find that you easily get angry or frustrated which is happening because your needs are not being met. Going back to basic doesn’t mean you are going backwards, it really means taking a step back so that you can be an observer and have a better view of what is really important right now and then be able to put everything else into the ‘not yet’ category. As a society we are so focused on the doing, doing, doing and that we must achieve to be successful that we often forget to just be in the moment and to stop and smell the roses and enjoy our lives. People think that just focusing on one thing may mean you are going backwards but it is really about taking two steps back to go three steps forward. I often find that if I wait on moving forward on certain things then I get more insights and learnings that I needed for that project that I would not have got if I had not waited.
When it comes to intimacy so often people put this aside to focus on other things they are working on but if we actually spent more time in this area we would achieve a lot more in the other areas of our lives. We have a need for touch and connection and if this is not getting met then it can leave us feeling unfulfilled. To get back to basics in your intimate life is to start with self. Self-touch and self-pleasure can bring a lot of feelings of connection and warmth and help awaken your sexual energy which in turn will get your creative juices flowing in other areas of your life! Really explore ways that you like to be touched all over your body and play with different types of massage, you can also include hot and cold temperatures, massagers, vibrators, feathers etc to bring different sensations to your body.
Self-care is super important in relationships too. We can get so caught up in another person that we forget to look after ourselves and then blame the other person when our needs are not being met. Take time out for yourself on a regular basis to connect with yourself and meet your own needs. Write down what your basic needs are in all different areas of your life and then make time to spend on your own meeting them. If you would like help getting back to basics, I offer a free 15 min coaching call, which you can access here. You can also watch the episode on Soul TV on this topic and will hear from other experts and can sign up via this link – Soul TV.