Stress and overwhelm occurs when you are putting too much pressure and expectations on yourself. In these moments we are not getting our needs met hence why a lot of anger and frustration can come up for us and we may snap at others. For me personally it is when I seem to have a huge to do list and I don’t seem to be moving forward or getting anything done and the ‘to do’ list just keeps growing rather than shortening! Often it does seem like ‘groundhog day’ as it feels like I am doing the same things over and over and not moving forward. I am working on the short term and have lost sight of the long term vision because in reality every little bit counts even if doesn’t feel like it at the time.
I actually found this feeling happened most often when I was in relationship and then I would end up snapping at him because my needs weren’t being met. I felt I couldn’t move forward whilst we were trying to make our relationship work and blamed him. However, I was not doing what I know I needed to do to move forward because it was easy for me to keep myself small this way. So it was really important for me to look at what limiting beliefs were really sitting underneath my stress and then how I could meet my own needs and this takes a lot of willpower. In the end though even though I didn’t feel like I was moving forward in my vision the lessons that I got and the inner work I did on myself because of the relationship were phenomenal and moved me more forward than ever thought possible.
I think it is really important to mention here about taking on other people’s energies. In relationships what can happen is we can take on our partner’s or children’s stuff energetically or even just people you are living with. Particularly if you are empathic like myself. An empath is someone who can generally feel another person’s feelings or pick up what is going on for them. Unless you are aware of this and know how to protect your energy you can end up feeling quite tired and stressed out. You think it is your stuff when really it’s not.
I’ve recently been training with Transformation Specialist, Sarah Be, who asks ‘Is it really overwhelm or are you just not willing to expand yourself into what you really are?’. We are educated that we are our bodies so you think you are just your body and then more information comes in and you will feel a lot of pressure. If you expanded your space out you would be able to cope and manage it. You actually have more ease being a larger space. People say to find yourself you must go inside yourself, but Sarah’s says to find yourself you must expand yourself. You might miss aspects of you in you only look in.
Here are some great tools to use if you find yourself going into stress and overwhelm:
- Stop, Breathe and Ask: Stand up and walk away from what you are doing. Take some deep breaths and then ask yourself:- What am I feeling right now? Underneath the stress will be some emotions such as annoyance, frustration, disconnection, sadness, anger. You then need to self-care and ask: What is it that I need right now? It may just be that you need connection in the form of a hug from your child. It could be space, so take some time out for yourself. It could be going out and doing something fun or you need to be heard and talk to someone. Take some personal time for you to get your needs met. This time will help you discover what the real challenge is.
- Expand your Space – As Sarah Be recommends is to expand your space which you can in just a minute by closing your eyes and visualising where you feel you are, is it your body, aura etc? And then take that energy and see it expanding out of you, out of the room, to the building, to the city, to the country, to the world, right out into space and into other galaxies as far as you can go and then open your eyes when you have expanded as far as you feel.
- Cleansing your Energy – As an empath it’s important to come back into your own space and energy.
- SMUDGING: You can do this by burning at a white sage stick and smudging it all around your body and your space which will get rid of other people’s energy that may be attached to you.
- TAKE YOUR ENERGY BACK: If there is another person in your space all the time, even if it is a partner, you can energetically take your energy back from them and give theirs back to them. Do this by visualising your energy coming out of their solar plexus back into your solar plexus. This is very loving to do.
- CUTTING CORDS: Cutting energetic cords is also a great tool which is just as simple as closing your eyes and visualising cords attached to your body and then seeing them gently dissolve into light and sending love down the cords as they are cut. You can ask your guides and angels to help cut cords and particularly Archangel Michael.
- COLD SHOWER: This will shock the body’s energy and get rid of anything that is not yours. Also shake your body for a minute which will also help you to re-energise.
- GROUNDING: This will bring you back into your body. Go outside and just place your feet on the ground and visualise tree roots coming up from the ground and into your feet and up your legs and really holding you into the ground and do this for 30 seconds.
- Gratitude – Is it a first world problem? List all of the things you are grateful for right now and the journey that you are on. It’s just a moment in time and it will pass.
- Reconnecting – to your ‘why’ and your vision. What is your bigger picture? Is what is going on right now going to matter tomorrow, in a month, a year? Probably not. Use a schedule to create ‘hours of power’ where you have no interruptions or distractions to get what you need to get done. Learn to say ‘no’ to things that are not part of your long term vision.
You may realise that what is happening is actually not that big of a deal in the bigger scale. We are all at different stages of our journey and where you are right now is completely perfect for you. Remember just take one step at a time. Even if you feel you are only moving slowly… you are still moving!! Know that you are human and it happens to the best of us. If you would like help managing your stress, I offer a free 15 min coaching call, which you can access here. You can also watch the episode on Soul TV on this topic and will hear from other experts and can sign up via this link – Soul TV.