Any relationship that leaves you feeling dis empowered, unworthy or undervalued is toxic. Codependency in relationships is extremely common in today’s world is and very damaging because we are looking outside of ourselves for validation. We are giving our power away to forces over which we have no control.
Nothing and no one outside of us can fill our needs and until we recognize that we are setting ourselves up for failure. We truly are (I believe) our own worst enemies.
Our relationships are our greatest teachers and until we learn the lessons the pattern and cycle keeps repeating itself. Sadly it is the wounds from our childhood, the dysfunctional relationship patterns, beliefs and behaviours that we often inherit from our parents, and they from theirs that keep us continuing on this cycle of dysfunctional and toxic relationships.
Therefore I work with my clients to create peace in this relationship as the quality of our parental relationship plays a huge role in all other relationships.
Also connecting with one’s ancestors and offering love and gratitude and respect can be very healing. We inherit the relationship patterns of our ancestors and if there is a history of abuse, betrayal or toxic relationships of any kind the cycle will keep repeating itself until someone wakes up and heals the pattern.
Helping people connect with their ancestors is a favourite aspect of my work because it is so beautiful. We all have loving, wise and kind ancestors who want to help us. If they are stuck, impeded by their own unresolved hurts and issues then these can be a big barrier to our fulfillment and a happy life.
Also trying to change the external things such as other people and life events over which we have no control, and taking responsibility for ourselves and honouring and nurturing that relationship is a game changer.
The biggest problem I see with most of my coaching clients is low self-worth. Some of them hide it better than others but deep inside we are programmed by society sometimes in subliminal and subconscious ways to believe we are not good enough.
Hence we look outside of ourselves for validation and approval and this is so self-depleting. It zaps our life force energy and leaves us exhausted.
My primary focus in my coaching is to help my clients reach a healthy state of self-love which is self-acceptance because lack of these qualities is a big barrier to the fulfilment of our dreams.
It is so important to be vigilant with our thoughts and not give any power to those negative thoughts that are so insidious. This voice is often the voice of the wounded child within that is holding onto immature beliefs and programming that were taken on at a younger age and they can be very damaging. Validating and acknowledging this inner child and offering them love is a powerful tool for healing.
I also help my clients make a heart centred connection with their soul and draw on their souls loving healing powers for awakening and transformation. This is the main focus of my work.
As we awaken to our spiritual nature we become less affected by the world around us and more connected to the unlimited potential of the wise and loving Presence within. This changes everything.
Jane Whiting is a Relationship & Ancestral Healing Coach